Thinkin'.....

I was stalking my regulars on Facebook tonight and it hit me that everyone is taking the bar exam next week! My heart aches and leaps for them- on one hand, the chapter is drawing to a close and it's the end of a long hard journey-- but on the other hand I know the panic that is setting into their heads and hearts. There's a mini-nervous break down happening somewhere with some poor bar taking soul. I'm saying prayers for all of you m'dears. Remember, take a deep breath, keep your nose to the grind and don't panic (too much) because it's all survivable. I look back over this old blog and I see the sheer panic of all of it in my posts and I'm reminded of just how silly all of the worry was, You guys are going to do GREAT!

In other news, we are all moved into our new house.....FINALLY! The new TV and cable was installed and delivered on Monday afternoon and the office is finally moved from Conway. I am sitting at my computer after going through files and organizing everything. I really think this was the best purchase we could have made, with a baby coming it will allow me to work from home and give me an opportunity to not miss too many beats when it comes to my work. I'm telling ya, God has a plan and I am blessed.

Justin is leaving tomorrow for a boys in Atlanta with some of his old fraternity brothers and I am heading to NC to spend a lil QT with my fam and do a lil shopping for the house. My mom and I have already planned out a trip to IKEA followed by a quick stop at South Park Mall in Charlotte and I maybe a little Cheesecake Factory for dinner....I mean if we have time and all!

Happy Girl.

Big Changes

Wow, it amazes me as I go back and look at the content of this blog -- that my life has changed so dramatically! In the past 6 months everything has been flipped upside down, turned all sideways and somehow has put me right back on my feet in the happiest place that I'm not even sure my heart allowed me to imagine! I'm not saying it was easy, heck, if anything it was heartbreaking, soul testing and just plain hard.

Hmm, so much to catch up on..... Well, in March I had a trip planned to Miami with all my girlfriends from Law School for one of my bestest friends, Ashley, for her bachelorette party. The day before I left I wasn't feeling so good. I had been nauseous for the past week and I just knew something was off. Well, a pregnancy test later and VWA-LA I'm preggo. I was so busy with work I took the test in the bathroom, shoved the EPT in my pocket and worked for over an hour until I realized I had forgot to check it! I pulled that little sucker out and the words "Pregnant" were sealed on the tiny screen. OMG! OMG! OMG! That's what kept running through my head! I closed the doors to my office and just sat in shock and disbelief. I wash of emotions and thoughts came over me: What was I going to do? How am I going to tell Justin? What will his reaction be? What will my parents think? OMG! OMG! OMG! I'm not married, this is not the order of how things are supposed to be!

So I called my mom, only my mom could help me in this very emotional moment. So I picked up the phone and called. So through my light crying I tell her. To which she SQUEALS with excitement and joy! I was taken aback, I reminded her of all the stuff that was running through my head and she said...."WHAT? Amy, this is the best news ever! Why are you upset, you're almost 30 years old, you're an attorney with a good job, you love Justin and you guys have been planning on getting married soon anyways. Honey, you're not 16 and this isn't MTV, this is GREAT!" And so, I took a deep breath - evaluated her words and thought....SHE'S RIGHT! So, I left work a little early for lunch and ventured over to Justin's office to tell him the news.

I was beyond nervous and I found myself crying a little and not being able to form the words to tell Justin the news. **Now let me pause and say this: Justin is a kid loving, sweet amazing man but for some reason I was terrified he would be upset. Mainly because we had a plan, a life plan and this wasn't in it, at least not for the next year or two.** So i finally muster up the gumption to tell him, and I say it, "I'm pregnant." A second of earth shattering silence was ended by a huge smile and a, "Really?" I nodded and he couldn't quit grinning. He said the kindest words anyone has ever said to me, he said, Amy, I love you! This is great news! It's going to be okay. This is everything we wanted, maybe not in the order but it's always been our goal to get married, have babies and raise a family. He sat me on his lap, hugged me, kissed me and told me to quit that crying that this was great and everything was going to be okay.

He gave me the engagement ring he had saved forever for and we began the process of planning a wedding, for a baby and narrowing down our house hunting.

In April, I left my job and not on good terms. I had worked for a man that had allowed his demons to get the best of him and it was putting me in a terrible position. I'm not going into any details, but I can say that it's sad to sit on the sidelines and watch someone self destruct. I decided that it was not healthy- physically or professionally for me to continue to work in such a crazy environment. And so I left....

I took the next couple of months to regroup, plan a wedding, look for a new job, do some pro bono work and wrap up the house buying. Justin was wonderful, he supported me taking a break and let me do my thing.

We had a beach wedding on June 19, 2010 at 7:30 and it was absolutely beautiful. It was the most relaxed, easy, uncomplicated day of my life and that was my goal. I was 5 months pregnant: glowing just a little, 14 lbs heavier - mainly in my face and belly. But possibly the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. I got to walk down the isle and marry my best friend and seal the deal and my heart has never been more full or loved. Now I should probably tell you, the week up until this wedding was a bit nuts- but it was all taken with a grain of salt and I nor Justin let the craziness get to us. We found out we were having a baby boy on June 17, closed on our house and had a huge pre-wedding party on June 18 and got married on June 19!

I always tell people: If Justin and I can survive living apart for over a year, 2 bar exams, the surprise of having a baby and the week of our wedding -- WE CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING!

So, that my dear friends has been our life for the past couple of months, and what a crazy, wonderful time it's been.

I am now 6 months preggo and Jackson Cash Lovely is due to arrive the first of November! God is good and life is sweet.

More to come....